How often have you ever heard someone say “we (or my parents) would have got divorced years ago, if it was not for the children?” Whether it’s a parent saying this or a child expressing something similar, many spouses refuse to get a divorce for this reason. Granted, there are legitimate reasons for this justification. According to a number of studies, children require instruction and influence from both parents. However, as ideal as a two parent home might be, it is just not practical or healthy for everyone. When you consider that an estimated 12.2 million single parent homes exist in this country, 80% oh which, are headed by single moms, single parenting is no longer the outlier that it used to be. Yet, many people are still afraid to get a divorce, even if their relationship is a damaging one, because they are not sure they can handle single parenting. A recent article in the Huffington Post argued that divorce and single parenting can come with some perks, as the Kemp, Ruge & Green Law Group blog is going to expound upon for you.
1.Child-rearing: As children get older, their parents are faced with more-and-more difficult decisions on how to raise them, what morals they want to instill, what schools they want them to go to, etc, etc. Consider some very simple examples. Dad wants his son to play baseball, but mom wants him to take piano lessons, but they only have money for one activity. How do they make that decision? Granted, they could sit down, compares notes, and calmly discuss all sides, but we ALL know that doesn’t always happen. Now, let’s say the two parents could come together on the baseball vs. piano problem, but what if the father is of one religion and the mother is of another. Several couples do not really factor this in when they get married, but once they have kids it becomes an issue. No matter how well they communicate as a couple, this issue is a difficult one and can lead to lots of confusion and problems for your children. However, if you are a single parent, (and situations like this are not stated in your settlement agreement) then, you do not have to worry about any of these situations. There is no back-and-forth, there is no “do one thing with mom” and “do another thing with dad.” All you have to do as a single parent is to be consistent in your decisions and your judgments with your children. It is a task much easier to do when you are by yourself.
2.Character: As a single parent, consider the tremendous impact you can have on your instilling in your children a strong sense of independence. It is one thing to just talk to your kids about being independent, but everyday you go to work AND cook dinner AND clean the house AND run all the other errands AND do it again the next day for years, you are showing them strength. You are showing them what it means to achieve something great without needing to rely on others. Also, because your children will grow up knowing that they can make it on their own, because you showed them how and led by example, they will probably not rush to “be in a relationship, just to be in one.”
The Kemp, Ruge & Green Law Group would like to salute all the hard working single parent families out there in our community, and we wish them the best. If you or anyone you know is considering the single parent road as an option, contact the Kemp, Ruge & Green Law Group for a free initial consultation. We will treat you with the respect, dignity and privacy such delicate situations command.